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Not long after the telephone was invented, I assume, a call was placed. The caller was a parent saying, “Your child is bullying my child, and I want it stopped!” the bully’s parent replied, “You must have the wrong number. My child is a little angel.”
A trillion phone calls later, the conversation is the same. When children are teased or tyrannized, the parental impulse is to grab the phone and rant. But these days, as studies in the U.S.show bullying on the rise and parental supervision on the decline, researchers who study bullying say that calling moms and dads is more futile than ever. Such calls often lead to playground recriminations and don’t really teach our kids any lessons about how to navigate the world and resolve conflicts.
When you call parents, you want them to “extract the cruelty” from their bullying children, says Laura Kavesh, a child psychologist in Evanston, Illinois. “But many parents are blown away by the idea of their child being cruel. They won’t believe it.” In a recent police-department survey in Oak Harbor, Washington, 89% of local high school students said they had engaged in bullying behavior. Yet only 18% of parents thought their children would act as bullies.
In a new U.S.PTA survey, 5% of parents support contacting other parents to deal with bullying. But many educators warn that those conversations can be misinterpreted, causing tempers to flare. Instead, they say, parents should get objective outsiders, like principals, to mediate.
Meanwhile, if you get a call from a parent who is angry about your child’s bullying, listen without getting defensive. That’s what Laura McHugh of Castro Valley, California, did when a caller told her that her then 13-year-old son had spit in another boy’s food. Her son had confessed, but the victim’s mom “wanted to make sure my son hadn’t given her son a nasty disease,” says McHugh, who apologized and promised to get her son tested for AIDS and other diseases. She knew the chance of contracting any disease this way was remote, but her promise calmed the mother and showed McHugh’s son that his bad behaviour was being taken seriously. McHugh, founder of Parents Coach Kids, a group that teaches parenting skills, sent the mom the test results. All were negative.
Remember: once you make a call, you might not like what you hear. If you have an itchy dialing finger, resist temptation. Put it in your pocket.
1.The word “bullying” probably means _____.
[A] frightening and hurting [B] teasing [C] behaving like a tyrant [D] laughing at
2. Calling to a bully’s parent _____.
[A] has long existed but changed its content [B] is often done with careful thinking
[C] often leads to blaming and misunderstanding [D] is used to warn the child not to do it again
3. According to the surveys in the U. S., _____.
[A] bullying among adults is also rising [B] parents are not supervising their children well
[C] parents seldom believe bullies [D] most parents resort to calling to deal with bullying
4. When bullying occurs, parents should _____.
[A] help the bulling child get rid of cruelty [B] resort to the mediator
[C] avoid getting too protective [D] resist the temptation of calling
5.Laura McHugh promised to get the bullied boy tested for diseases because _____.
[A] her son confessed to being wrong [B] she was afraid to annoy the boy’s parent
[C] he was likely to be affected by these diseases [D] she wanted to teach her own son a lesson
答案:1.A 2.C 3.B 4.B 5.D
核心词汇与超纲词汇
(1)bully(n.)仗势欺人者，横行霸道者;(v.)恐吓，伤害，胁迫
(2)tease(v./n.)取笑，戏弄，揶揄;招惹，逗弄(动物);(n.)爱戏弄人的人，取笑者
(3)tyrannize(v.)对……施行暴政;专横地对待;tyranny(n.)暴虐，专横，苛政;暴君统治;tyrant(n.)暴君
(4)impulse(n.)冲动，一时的念头;推动力，刺激
(5)rant(n./v.)怒吼，咆哮，大声抱怨
(6)navigate(v.)导航，确定位置和方向;航行，航海，横渡;找到正确方法(对付困难复杂的情况)
(7)blow away意思是To affect intensely; overwhelm(强烈影响，征服)，如：That concert blew me away(音乐会震撼了我)。
(8)itchy(a.)使人发痒的;itch(n./v.)发痒，渴望
全文翻译
我认为，电话发明后不久，就有人就打这样的电话。打电话的是一位家长，他(她)说：“你的孩子在欺负我的孩子，我希望这样的事情不要再发生!”而这位仗势欺人的孩子的家长却回答到：“你一定拨错号码了，我的孩子是个小天使。”
在以后的岁月中，这样的电话不计其数，但电话内容却没有改变。当孩子遭到取笑或被专横地对待时，冲动的父母抓起电话，大声抱怨。但是最近，当美国的研究表明以强凌弱现象在增多而父母的管教在减少时，以强凌弱现象的研究者们说给父母打电话毫无用处。这样的电话常常只导致责备，并不能真正教育孩子如何在世界上生存和解决冲突。
伊利诺斯州伊文斯顿市区的儿童心理学家劳拉•卡维许说，“当你打电话给仗势欺人的孩子的父母时，是想让对方改掉他们孩子的残忍行为。但是许多父母对自己孩子有这样的残忍行为感到非常震惊，他们不愿意不相信”。最近警察部门在华盛顿橡木港口进行的调查显示，当地89%的高中生承认有过仗势欺人的行为。但只有18%的家长认为他们的孩子会成为仗势欺人者。
在美国家长——教师联合会新的调查中，5%的家长支持和其他家长联系来解决以强凌弱问题。但是很多专家警告说这样的对话可能会被误解，使对方勃然大怒。相反，他们认为父母应该找较客观的旁观者如学校校长等来进行调解。
同时，如果接到了一位对你的孩子仗势欺人的行为感到愤怒的家长的电话，你应该倾听，不要把自己保护起来。当加里福尼亚卡斯楚谷市的劳拉•麦休接到电话，被告知她13岁的儿子朝另外一个孩子的食物中吐吐沫时，她就这样做了。她儿子已经承认了。麦休说，“但受害者的母亲想确保我儿子没有传染给她儿子什么严重的疾病”。她道歉并并许诺让这个男孩做艾滋和其他严重疾病的测试。她知道通过那种方式传染疾病的几率非常小，但她的许诺使对方母亲平静了下来，并且也让自己的儿子知道父母是非常严肃地对待他的恶劣行为。麦休是教授父母技能的“父母教导孩子”组织的创始人。她将测试结果送给那位母亲，所有项目都显示阴性。
记住：一旦打电话，你可能会听到不想听的话。如果你手指发痒，忍住。把手放在口袋里。
